I did a dumb thing

I’m so fuckin happy right now hahahahaha but I definitely did a dumb thing

It was absolute chaos Saturday morning with everyone packing bags and getting ready to go down to the ferry. Everyone was in their normal clothes, calling and running down the corridors, hauling bags down the stairs. Minnow house was brimming with high spirits in just about all the rooms except mine.

I wasn’t packing, just laying on my bed, while Andie miserably tossed things into their bag.

“At least you get to get off the island,” I pointed out gloomily.

“I’d rather stay here with you,” they replied, sinking onto the end of their bed, and truly they looked miserable.

“Are they that bad?” I asked.

Andie forced a weak smile, which was answer enough.

Bass was so hungover he missed breakfast and when we went down the hall to find them, he was still face down in bed with a pillow over his head, groaning miserably.

When I teased him — I mean he was literally raised in a bar — he just moaned, “you weren’t drinking the punch the Saint Niveus kids brought.”

He was still looking very much disheveled and miserable by the time we were all trooping down the hill towards the ferry.

Rook got a call from Daryl as we stood shivering by the boathouse, waiting for the gang plank. They were just driving away from the Crossroads, they missed him, have a nice time with the Scelerats etc etc.

“I wish I could invite you to join us,” Bass told me. “But I called home last night and they said —”

“Yeah I know, they said I couldn’t come,” I interrupted. “It’s cool. Lana wants me to stay here.”

“Yeah well, fuck them,” Bass said. “Here I thought the Red Rock was supposed to be this grand neutral safe place…”

“It’s okay,” I said quickly because I hadn’t yet put together that the Scelerats were happy to put up assassins and thieves and all sorts of wild characters but they drew the line at me, and tbh, that realization was doing nothing to improve my already gray day.

Andie was giving me a funny look — I really gotta learn to stop calling Lana by her first name lol — but all they said was, “You gonna ride the ferry across with us at least?”

I hesitated, glancing at the cue of people boarding the ferry in loose, slow rows.

“Sure,” I said, figuring it would be cool to get off the island, even if just to hang out on the boat.

So I followed them aboard. Mr Buskirk stopped me at the plank.

“Not you,” he said. “I was told specifically. You stay on the island.”

I might have stayed if it weren’t for Bass, and his biggest puppy-dog eyes. “Just for the ride?” he said. “Just to hang out for a little bit longer? Before she’s all alone for the rest of the month?”

Lily, who was supervising our embarkment, deflated looking over the four of us, finally sighed, and waved me on. “I’ll see you at dinner,” she said and we rushed aboard before anyone could change their minds.

We slid into a booth just the four of us and a deck of cards, and for like 20 minutes, it was just us hanging out. I could feel the weight of the island lifting off me with every hand of hearts. Andie was absolutely smoking us, to the point that Bass was searching under the table for alchemy. We were all laughing, genuinely having a good time. And then Julian called.

I couldn’t very well answer it in front of Andie, so I slid out of the booth and went outside onto the freezing cold viewing deck at the front of the ferry. No one else was out there in this cold.

“Hey,” he said. “I heard everyone was leaving today. How you doing?”

Well Julian, I’m miserable, I’m gonna be alone for the holidays how are you?

“I’m okay,” I said. “Where are you?”

“We’re at the Crossroads,” Julian said. “There’s been a little bit of heat so we’re sorta stuck here.”

“What kind of heat?” I asked.

Julian made a dismissive noise in his throat. “Nothing we can’t handle. You know how it is. Always something.”

I missed them so much it burned.

“Shi, I know this sucks,” Julian said into the pause. “We wanted to come and surprise you, but we’re not going to be able to now.”

HAhaHahahahahaha JULIAN WHY DID YOU TELL ME THAT??????

“Neal’s at the store, but he’ll call you when he’s back,” Julian went on, and then, most devastating of all, “We miss you kid. I wish you were here.”

And then I tore my heart out of my chest and kicked it into the ocean.

When I went back to the table, fully feeling sorry for myself, Bass was reading a text from his sister about some second cousins who were in town asking why they weren’t more included in the family and how miserable it was going to be to deal with.

And then the Bad Idea axed it’s way into my head like Jack in the Shining.

“What if… you didn’t go,” I said.

All three of them looked at me.

“What if we rented a car and went to the —” I glanced at Andie, realizing too late that it was gonna be hard to explain my idea to them without admitting to some stuff — “Crossroads instead.”

All three of them stared at me.

“We could go see Knock and Daryl, probably,” I faltered. “And uh… be actually useful for once.”

Andie snorted. “They wouldn’t let us in the doors,” they said.

Rook smothered a smile. “They’d let us in,” he said without looking at me.

“You two don’t want to go home,” I went on. “Rook and I aren’t even going home. Why not go see if we can make ourselves a little bit useful at the Crossroads?”

“Shiloh,” Rook said, and it was the first time I’d heard him say my name in months. He didn’t say anything else but I could see in his raised eyebrows that we both knew this was a terrible idea.

So what did I do?

Oh well I buckled down of course.

“Just a few weeks,” I said.

“They’re not gonna let us stay for a few weeks!” Andie hissed. “Do you know who I am? They won’t even let me in the front door!”

And that do you know who I am sealed it for me. The only people who know who I am are at the Crossroads and I’m over it.

“I’m going,” I said. “Anyone is allowed to join me.”

There was a moment of quiet, and then Bass beamed. “Okay, fuck it. Let’s go.”

I can always count on Bass.

So when the ferry stopped on the mainland I snagged Bass’ beanie and ducked into a thick crowd so Buskirk wouldn’t spot me. Hahahaha sorry Lily.

On the platform, Marina appeared at Andie’s shoulder. “Listen will you wait with my bags, Terran wanted to show me his parents new car,” she said, slinging her sleek leather bag at Andie’s feet without even looking at them.

Andie just stood there, staring at the bag for a long time.

Then they looked back up at me and said, “Where do we go?”

I beamed at them.

Cut to one uber and 20 minutes later and we were all in a car rental. Did Bass have to pull a little bit of magic to convince the guy we were old enough to rent? Yeah, he did. But also Rook and I have trained for this, and literally within 30 minutes we were on the road.

Fuckin freedom dude. Was it too cold to roll down the windows? YES way too cold. Did we do it anyways? Of course. It was like the road wind was whipping all last quarter off me, like with every mile I was a little bit further from the Shiloh that runs and wears a uniform that makes me look like an ill Victorian lad. I turned up the music. Bass stomped on the gas. We bellowed along with the music (except Andie didn’t know the words).

Even now, hours later, driving in the dark I can’t stop smiling.

I know that Neal and Julian would tell me to absolutely NOT do what I’m doing but honestly? I don’t give a shit. Bass put what he called a veil on our phones so no one can track us. Andie drew a sigil on the top of the car with my eyeliner.

Bye bye fuckin snob island. We’re free.