I’ve done nothing all weekend. Also, for anyone interested, I decided that I like updating Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. If I was a good blogger I’d probably set like a time but like lmao nah. Maybe I’ll link this on my tumblr when I post? Lololol follow me on tumblr for the fastest access to the lamest blog u know https://shilohwhytho.tumblr.com/

So I restarted a tumblr if that gives you any idea of how I’m doing. How in the fuck am I supposed to survive this terrible town without Madelyn

I’m still 100% convinced she didn’t run away. But everyone else is so certain, it’s easy to doubt myself. Also what are the alternatives? Like if she didn’t leave by her own free will, she was taken away by force so like what am I hoping for here?

Also, the cops seem to think that she has her cell phone and if she’d just turn it on they could find her??? Like please, I know she didn’t take her phone with her. She’s not an idiot. But like where the fuck did she put it?

Ok now I’m imagining all the circumstances under which her cell phone would become lost in some way. Spoiler alert: all bad. All of the circumstances are bad.

K I just went and got a bowl of cereal and listen — we’re just gonna assume nothing terrible happened to her and that she left her phone somewhere because that’s THE ONLY ACCEPTABLE POSSIBILITY. And if she did leave it somewhere, I know where she might have left it. Writing is awesome, my hot therapist was totally right, hobbies are the best. (I’ll never tell her that)

There’s this abandoned house out on Circem Street, out in the outer neighborhoods of Black Lake. It’s like two blocks from the turn off onto the old lumber roads is, and everyone says it’s haunted, so no one ever goes in except on a dare.

We used to go there as kids to play ouija board and scare the shit out of ourselves, and then all the way up until Maddie got her car we’d hang out there when our houses were too much to deal with. We haven’t been there together in years, but that doesn’t mean she stopped going.

I can’t go today, I have therapy, but I’ll go tomorrow.

I feel weird and giddy now. I can picture her going there so clearly. If she was hiding something, that’s where she’d hide it. That’s where I’d hide my secret double life so