I’m in a super pissy mood tonight because I spent all fucking weekend with Marina.

“She’s a better alchemist than me,” Andie explained Saturday morning, when Marina detached herself from her cronies after breakfast and followed us back up to Minnow house. “And I’ve been looking at this stuff all night, but I have no idea what it’s talking about.”

Bass and Rook took it pretty well in stride when I admitted that I’d taken the journal. Bass was actually kinda delighted, bless him, and though Rook maintained his usual steady expression, I sensed that he was neither surprised nor displeased by the development hahaha.

All he said was, “Didn’t think to share the mystery?” and I said,

“I thought I’d keep my crimes to myself,” because it’s not like I owe him information.

So he said, “You do love your secrets,” which stung obviously because there is literally one single reason that Rook and I aren’t still dating and it’s the secret-unplanned-pregnancy-slash-magical-miscarriage-shaped hole between us.

So I said, sorta coldly (I hate myself) “Yeah, I guess I do,” and now there’s a whole lot of icy air between us again, which I could close if I just told him what happened last year, but the very thought of doing that makes me want to rip off my own fingernails so I guess I’ll just continue to pretend it’s fine.

Lol I told you I’m in a pissy mood.

Fucking Marina and her silky pajamas and her infuriatingly thorough understanding of sigils. We’re not even due to start studying alchemy in Arcane Sciences class until next week so literally I have no idea what alchemy even is much less what the sigils mean. Lily started us on wizardry today, which essentially meant I now know how little we know about wizardry in general, and the brief history of the known wizards on earth. There’s like… 10 confirmed wizards. Jasper is sort of one of them.

Marina is sort of another. She was so fucking smug and cool when Lily told us we had another budding wizard in our very own class. IRRITATING. IN HER STUPID SILKY PAJAMAS

Lol I just remembered that you probably have no idea why I’m focusing on her stupid pretty pajamas I must sound like a lunatic lmfao and I considered deleting that but I’m gonna explain it instead because it’s such an insane Palefish quirk and I feel like you all need to just know about it.

We’re all in uniforms for like 16 hours of our days, right. (Which btw now that I’ve been here for a few months I have to say — if I had to walk around this place in Neal and Julian’s old sweaters and leggings with holes in them while Saint Niveus legacy students walk around wearing literal thousands of dollars worth of natural fibers… I mean I’d survive it, but I wouldn’t be thrilled)

But we don’t have uniforms for sleeping. No bedtime uniforms. So you can imagine the fashion show the bathrooms and corridors have become at night. It’s so stupid, and I know that, but that does not mean that I am immune.

So yeah, I have noticed that Marina wears these beautiful, silky, lacy little nighties and rompers at every opportunity, which is one thing. But more importantly, Marina and all her rich little friends have all noticed which of us wear ratty sweaters and sweatpants. Also, now I wish I hadn’t explained the stupid pajamas thing because it is just as stupid as I thought it was but whatever if you haven’t figured out that I’m very insecure by now like… idk what to tell you.

(Also just so we’re all on the same page here, if they knew that my ratty old sweaters once belonged to dog saints they’d have a very different opinion. Assholes.)

Anyways, I’ve now spent like 300 words just talking about fancy pajamas hahahaha but like… idk everything on this island is hundreds of years old, has a storied history and is essentially priceless. Most of the students here come from great families, with generations of historical ties to the university. Andie and Marina, just by having grown up going to elite, secret schools that teach it, are able to speak Bird’s language in a way I simply can’t even begin to access. Like, turns out some of the notes I couldn’t read weren’t in an arcane language — they were in Ancient Greek. I grew up in an apartment in a tiny town. My mom is the best and we had a great life, but I simply don’t read Ancient Greek, much less arcane sigils.

Idk dude, now that Andie and Marina are trying to read Bird’s journal I feel sorta silly. I was reading for their scandalous social lives. From the same pages, Andie and Marina are like… unlocking the mysteries of the universe.

On the other hand, Neal did call me on Saturday to watch the new All Too Well (Taylor’s Version) video, and he remembers every single detail about the whole Jake/Taylor situation, so it hasn’t been all bad. I love him so much

OMG I just remembered that Cara left me expensive silky pajamas!!! Cara comin in with the saves even after being banished from this plain of existence love her so much miss her every day 💋