Goddamnit I fuckin jinxed it!!! I wrote about the journal, which I’ve been reading more or less in secret for literally two weeks without any comment from anyone — and to be clear, I am like almost never alone here okay, I was mostly reading by phone flashlight under my blankets at night to keep this journal to myself — and literally TWO DAYS LATER, guess who discovers me reading it.

Obviously it had to be MARINA.

Andie was still up and working, so I slipped out before bed and was reading on the window ledge by the stairs, when Marina climbed up them, uncharacteristically by herself.

Now Marina isn’t what I’d call a friend, as she’s in general just like… a bitch, but we have been seeing a fair amount of her what with our whole Polecat situation, so it’s not like it’s weird that she’d say something. But usually Marina has a whole entourage of other mean, rich, pretty people so usually it’s pretty easy to pretend we don’t see each other.

It’s different though, passing each other alone on the stairs at night, in Minnow house’s dim, yellow lights.

She said, “up late reading? That’s not very Bellhoof of you.”

I never told Marina that I’m applying for Bellhoof in spring, but regardless she likes to talk shit. It’s so annoying because I’m not insecure about that decision at all but the way this bitch talks it feels like maybe I should be.

I should have said something equally snide back at her, but she startled me, which made me try to jerk the journal out of sight, which sparked her attention.

“That’s not a text book,” she said, and lifted the book out of my hands so quick and light there was literally nothing I could do but snarl at her. When I reached for it again, she danced away, eyes sparkling with trouble. “Calm down, I just want to look,” she said, and not to be dramatic but I was really like two seconds away from straight up decking her. “Gracious look at your face that’s not very —” but whatever annoying thing she was going to say, she trailed off as she realized what she had in her hands.

I stood there frozen as she slowly looked up at me.

“Where did you get this?” she asked.

So I snapped back, “none of your business,” and snatched the book back out of her hands.

“Does Sorely know you have that?” she asked and idk what my expression was doin but it must have answered the question. “Holy shit,” she said, and then started off down the hallway. I obviously lurched after her, but she beat me to the door of my room and banged once before bursting in.

“You’ve been investigating those deaths?” she demanded of poor Andie, who startled so bad they dropped their pen.

“What?”

Marina gestured at me, standing there awkwardly with the journal. “You said you weren’t going to look into Robert Pennington’s death, and now you’ve found his journal?”

Andie said, “I didn’t say I wasn’t going to look into their deaths I said — wait, what? What journal?”

And bam just like that — not my secret journal anymore.

Andie quickly surveyed my awkward expression, the book clutched to my chest, and said, “I didn’t have anything to do with that I swear.”

“They didn’t,” I added because it seemed important, though I genuinely don’t understand what the deal with Marina’s big accusation is.

Marina took a moment to recalibrate, decided she believed us, and then said, “Do you know what they were studying?”

And I don’t so it was an easy answer. But even after Marina grudgingly went to bed, there was no escaping Andie.

There was the longest silence.

“…who’s journal is it?” they asked eventually, though by context obviously they knew full well, and the answer came tumbling out of my mouth.

They’re looking through the journal now as I write this. Our room is like… silence except for my typing and Andie occasionally turning pages. So far they haven’t said anything at all, not the least observation. Just silent reading and page turning.