Did we really think this was gonna go well? Did we really think that Lana busting in and just threatening everyone was going to be chill?

No, I knew, we all knew (Beverly especially knew) that Billy Ace wasn’t going to allow Lana’s egg-retrieving power move to stand unanswered.

Are any of us surprised, really, that Ace and his followers weren’t thrilled to discover that this power they have to hold our negotiations in deadlock is only because we’re actively CHOOSING not to go magically nuclear on their childish idiot asses?

Literally what kind of fucking hold does this PRICK have over his followers?????

On the other hand — how many times do we collectively need to learn not to underestimate a rich man with wounded pride

I honestly don’t even know how to update this whole mess, so I’m going to offer you a brief, incomplete list of things I’ve heard people say in the last 2 days without much context because honestly I simply don’t have the energy to make this a cinematic experience:

1. Yesterday morning Billy Ace’s door guard refused to let Beverly and her escort (which included me much to Neal’s chagrin) into the bar. He said, “Are you bringing Neal Hawthorne to face justice?” And when we said no, we’re not OBVIOUSLY: “Then you’re not welcome in this establishment. You cannot threaten us. We will have justice.”

2. Then a few minutes later, Beverly saying, at the top of her lungs to what I can only describe as a rapidly forming angry mob (because obviously we didn’t immediately leave when the door guard tried to turn us away): “We want the same things you want! We just want to make sure everyone’s voices are heard!”

3. Random people who I do not know:

a. “Oh, now you want everyone to have a voice?”

b. “We’ve already had a fair vote, and we chose our leadership!”

c. “If you really care about a fairness, you’ll turn over the known murderer you’re intentionally harboring!”

And it’s that last one that really infuriates me because that’s just NOT what’s happening, right?

4. So Beverly tried to explain — and I’m for sure paraphrasing this: “We don’t condone Neal’s actions, and while we recognize that most of you do not know Neal personally, we know him very well, and can confidently say that Neal would never have been driven to those extremes if your people hadn’t LITERALLY KIDNAPPED AND THEN MURDERED HIS FUCKING BROTHER and we’re not prepared to turn him over to a justice system that only represents a small percent of our community.” (emphasis very much mine and not Beverly’s, she was very calm and level headed throughout this whole interaction)

5. And you would think that was a good point, right? You would think at least one of these people would realize that like… oh justice isn’t really justice unless all parties involved are fully and fairly represented. Or at the very least recognize that like… oh wait, we did actually start this whole confrontation when we literally kidnapped Julian at gun point, huh?

6. Nope. Instead someone shouted, “you cannot compare putting down a monster to cold blooded murder!” And then a whole crowd roared it’s agreement, and all these hunters had streamed out of the bar at this point and it was just like… the handful of us against a crew of 20 dudes that all seemed a little bit drunk, and it was at that point that I finally

7. Lost my entire mind and shouted back at this anonymous crowd shouter, “If Jude’s such a monster why didn’t he change and kill you all?”

8. And you know what, that actually did catch them off guard for just a moment. No one had a snappy come back. I won’t say that people seemed to be considering their beliefs or anything, because that would optimistic but at least we’d broken them out of what had been up to that point somewhat rehearsed responses

But I couldn’t just let a good thing lie, could I. Oh no, the rabid rage beast that slumbers in the center of my shriveled heart, had noticed that it had it’s teeth on something and it was time to start shaking that shit as hard as it could. I added,

9. “If any of you had taken just a few minutes to learn something, you might have realized that Neal is harmless unless you do ONE THING and that thing was go after his brother!” And I said that from my diaphragm, like I puffed up like an opera singer and announced that with absolute confidence — because in most circumstances, like almost all circumstances, that’s 100% true

10. And then, one silky little voice from the back of the fucking crowd: “That’s not true,” said fucking ALEC. Remember Alec? The guy who tried to trick Neal’s power into thinking they weren’t selling poisonous furs that were killing people on the black market?

“Just a few months ago, Neal Hawthorne threatened to kill me in a hotel room just for lying to him. An unarmed guy, just trying to make a living.”

11. And I shrieked, “You were killing innocent people with poison furs!”

12. And he said, “It was a misunderstanding, and I don’t claim innocence — but Neal came at me with sudden, violent rage. You remember, you were there. You saw him threaten to kill me.”

13. And I DID see that, but I was so flabbergasted by his intentional manipulation of the truth that I paused just a beat too long and that was all the crowd needed to believe Alec — who in retrospect was who they wanted to believe anyway. They were looking for any excuse to believe Alec over me, he could have said fucking anything. Plus what was I supposed to say??? The context of what happened that day was complicated and layered with past friendship, and betrayed secrets, and Neal’s dog saint powers, and there was no way to explain the depth of Neal’s rage that day without all the nuance — and bam. I lost.

15. Nuance, folks. That’s where they getcha

16. But then the really bad thing happened, because Alec said, “How old are you, kid? Aren’t you apprenticed to the Hawthornes?”

17. Beverly said, immediately, “Neal is grieving so I’m taking over her training for now,” but the suspicion had been planted, the chaos was rising, and we needed to get the fuck out of there.

And that’s dumb shit people have said in just ONE stupid encounter from yesterday. It’s been one stupid ass thing after another.

Everything feels like I’m trying to hold water in my hands.

Like, we have reinforcements coming in, right? But they have absolutely no idea what’s going on. Half of them have heard whispers that Julian’s dead. The Kellihers asked straight up what happened and we can’t really explain it to them because Julian still doesn’t want to tell anyone about his fucking dog saint powers.

They got into yet another argument about it last night in the wee hours, triggered when Cooper literally LEFT THE STATE.

He went to go get Cosima. He didn’t tell anyone.

“I’m sorry,” he said on the phone. “But I knew it would be a big debate if I brought it to the group, and we need her.”

“I appreciate what you’re trying to do,” Julian said, as evenly as he could. “But how will adding another confused person with little working knowledge of hunter culture help our cause?”

To which Cooper said, “How will bringing on a high powered lawyer help us negotiate a new set of laws?”

At which point even Julian had to admit he was right.

Also — and I know this is small potatoes compared to the absolute disaster that’s continually unfolding around us — Rook is on his way. Like I’ve been nice and distracted with all the emerging war and Neal and Julian being cooped up in the hotel room and pissed about it (lol) but yeah he’s really coming now, and I still haven’t spoken to him, but I for sure am gonna have to now.

Oh shit someone just knocked on the door — we weren’t expecting anyone. It’s probably just Beverly with more news or dinner or something but Julian has to go hide in the bathroom and they’re still bickering about some pointless thing lmfao hang on brb I gotta get the door